(no subject)

[con_heir]

[A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 8th of December, is NOT this young man's birthday, and he already has a name! So re-using this tired old joke isn't really going to work, now is it.

Okay, so a young man is standing in his bedroom. Except that it's not his bedroom, even though there are pictures of him all over the place! John Egbert is pretty sure that he would remember what his bedroom looked like, and last time he checked it had been destroyed and was being overrun by imps. John's not sure of many things right now, but he's definitely sure that he don't see no imps in this here bedroom.]

When Jade brought us through that wall, I didn't think this is where we'd end up...

[Time to explore! John heads outside and surveys the neighborhood, and for a while he thinks he may have somehow ended up back in his own neighborhood. This definitely isn't his house, though, and none of these neighbors look very familiar! In fact, the only thing in the front yard that really reminds him of home is the mailbox.

>John: leave a surprise for the mailman.

What? No, that's stupid. He's not going to do that.

>John: poop in the mailbox.

Absolutely not. Never gonna happen.

>John, you take a dump in that mailbox this instant.]

N.... No! I won't!

[Passersby are free to find John staring intensely at his front yard's mailbox, as if wrapped in some deep moral quandry.]

Comments

[timetables.livejournal.com]

[ oh hey john's back.

dave feels like this should be cause for celebration, or at least... i dunno. something. saying hi might be a good start.

but uh. why is he staring at that mailbox so intently? and... yelling at it? he's always known that egbert was kind of a weird kid, and never judged. too harshly. but this display is a bit strange even for him.

maybe he was better off... not being back... whatever for the time being dave will just stand and observe this rather perplexing behavior, while definitely not feeling any urge to piss on anything or bleat like a goat.

because that would be stupid. ]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[After several minutes of silent staring, John finally snaps out of it.]

Oh! Hey! Dave! There you are. Uh, where are we?

[sting-like-a.livejournal.com]

[Who is this goofy kid and why is he having a staring contest with the mailbox...]

Having fun there, kiddo?

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Whoa! [John snaps out of it!] Er. Hi, do I know you? Sorry, I'm a little confused at the moment.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Oh hey, John's back.

He hadn't been gone very long, so ordinarily Karkat wouldn't care so much, but it just so happens that he's had a series of incredibly exhausting encounters today that have left him on iffy terms with most of his friends, and it's kind of relief to see John just being a complete idiot like always.

Anyway he'll just walk up to John and wait for him to notice someone's there.]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[For a moment, John's trembling hands go to the sides of his pants...

...but then he rips them away, shaking himself violently.] Bluh! Okay, that was dumb.

[HOLY CRAP SOMEONE'S THERE] Whoa! Don't scare me like that!

[busy-fists.livejournal.com]

[Heads up, John. There's a cream pie headed right for you.]

1/2

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[PIE SENSE TINGLING

John's head whips towards it, and he suddenly uses his wind powers to blow it away!!!! oh wait, he doesn't have them and that's stupid anyway. John takes the pie in the face like a champ.]

Argh! Who the heck!

2/2

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[Wait a minute. He knows the taste of that pie.]




......Dad?

[eternalfuture]

[See one confused Usagi staring.]

Are you expecting something?

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

No I am not expecting anything what mailbox. [John shakes his head violently before smiling at Usagi.] Er, sorry about that. I'm John.

[echidna]

[ John.

John.

John.

John.

JOHN.

JOHN.

JOHN.

JOHN.


Someone is running towards you and her name is Jade Harley and she is gonna hug the ever loving SHIT out of you. ]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[John's thoughts are momentarily taken away from pooping in the mailbox long enough to register that he has been tacklehugged by his ectosister!!!]

Hehehe. [He hugs her back warmly.] Glad to see we both made it through okay!

[nosigntospeakof.livejournal.com]

[=> Signless: Greet the young human who has a strange fixation on the box.]

Are you expecting something to come out of it?

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

...Not out of it, no. [Shifty eyes. Shifty eyes.]

Never mind. Uh, I'm John. Do you know where I am?

[nolongeralpha.livejournal.com]

[There is a bright orange crow with ironically cool iShades landing on your shoulder]

Sup, back to your doofy self?

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Dave? Is that you? [Just...... staring...]

I don't know what you're talking about, I am anything but doofy. Look at me, I'm amazing! [Then John gets a good look at his clothes.] Actually, I have to admit, I do look pretty doofy right now.

[heardeadpe0ple.livejournal.com]

What are you doing? I think the mail in your mail receiving unit has already been emptied, John. That is your name right? I think Jade or Dave has mentioned it once before to me, but I haven't actually spoken to you in person before.

[SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LEFT.]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Do I know you? [blink blink.] Well, you know Jade and Dave, so you can't be that bad...

Well, I dunno, Dave runs with weird crowds. You know how he is, what with the being an insane coolkid and all.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[Catches John staring intensely at his mailbox and joins in. Fuuuuuuck, how do they get that little door in front to open and shut and where does the mail even come from? Miracles, that's where.]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[must..... resist...... the pooping!!!! oh shit who's this douchebag.] Whoa, geez! Say something if you're just gonna stand there, don't just scare me!

[chastesaw]

*Looking from John to the mailbox.

And back to John.

And back to the mailbox.* I'm sorry to say that I'm... not quite seeing what happens to be of uncommon interest in the message receptacle.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Dang, why are all these people watching me watch the mailbox! Also hi, I'm John, and I'm not really sure where I am or who you are.

[imoutos]

[ Nadeko's just walking around Mayfield when she walks through this street, and spots a boy standing outside by the mailbox.

... He looks like he's thinking rather deeply about something, right? Nadeko finds herself curious, but she's much too shy to just step up to him and ask him, so if he notices her walking by she's going veeery slowly - to a point where it's obvious - and intensely stares at the mailbox as well as if she's trying to see if there's anything special about it. ]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[After a full minute:]

FUCK YOU, I'M NOT GONNA POOP IN THIS MAILBOX!

[burnmycapital.livejournal.com]

[Oh hello child-that-lost-his-brain-for-a-few-days. You seem to feel better. Russia will approach his fake!child (because what is changing houses) in the way in which he tends to approach people.

Suddenly. As in, he is suddenly behind you.]

You look better, little John.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

JEGUS CHRIST! [John jumps nearly a foot in the air.] Don't scare me like that, scary giant Russian man! Or at all!

[stealsluck.livejournal.com]

[HAVE A FRIENDLY PUNCH IN THE KIDNEY FROM BEHIND]

Joooooooohn!!!!!!!!

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[NO MY KIDNEYS] Ow! Who the heck-

[Okay, hang on. That definitely sounded like 8 Os, just now.] You wouldn't happen to be... Vriska, would you?

[a1a1000.livejournal.com]

[Sollux is just strolling by when he hears a familiar voice.]

John?

[Why, just yesterday you were in his house droned, trying to get him to play some stupid human game called Football or whatever.]

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Dang, another troll! You guys are all over the place, huh? You know my name, so... Do I know you?

[ooeeooahah]

[ There's a woman standing on the front porch of the house he left, watching him seem to have an internal dialogue with the mailbox. ]

You all right, there?

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

GAH! [He snaps out of it with a jerk.] Whoa, geez, sorry. Is this your house? Sorry to intrude, I just kinda woke up here...