(no subject)

[con_heir]

[A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 8th of December, is NOT this young man's birthday, and he already has a name! So re-using this tired old joke isn't really going to work, now is it.

Okay, so a young man is standing in his bedroom. Except that it's not his bedroom, even though there are pictures of him all over the place! John Egbert is pretty sure that he would remember what his bedroom looked like, and last time he checked it had been destroyed and was being overrun by imps. John's not sure of many things right now, but he's definitely sure that he don't see no imps in this here bedroom.]

When Jade brought us through that wall, I didn't think this is where we'd end up...

[Time to explore! John heads outside and surveys the neighborhood, and for a while he thinks he may have somehow ended up back in his own neighborhood. This definitely isn't his house, though, and none of these neighbors look very familiar! In fact, the only thing in the front yard that really reminds him of home is the mailbox.

>John: leave a surprise for the mailman.

What? No, that's stupid. He's not going to do that.

>John: poop in the mailbox.

Absolutely not. Never gonna happen.

>John, you take a dump in that mailbox this instant.]

N.... No! I won't!

[Passersby are free to find John staring intensely at his front yard's mailbox, as if wrapped in some deep moral quandry.]

Comments

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[After several minutes of silent staring, John finally snaps out of it.]

Oh! Hey! Dave! There you are. Uh, where are we?

[timetables.livejournal.com]

[ dave just stares blankly for a few more seconds before finally being snapped out of it. damn. that was sort of hypnotic. ]

Uh... wait you mean you don't remember?

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[you can't resist the siren call forever, dave.]

Remember what?

[timetables.livejournal.com]

[ his life is nothing but one long bout of resisting. ]

This place. Mayfield, the little town that could. Dude you weren't even gone that long, maybe like a few days. If you're coming down with Alzheimers at the age of 13 you've got some serious problems.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[everyone succumbs sooner or later, dave.]

I don't have Alzheimer's, man! Just ordinary garden variety amnesia. Uh... I think. Where is Mayfield? Other than, you know, here, I mean.

[timetables.livejournal.com]

[ to not succumb is the first rule of being cool. and oh how you have failed john. ]

Somewhere.

[ he goes silent for a while like that should be a good enough answer on its own. ]

No really I've got no idea it's just somewhere. And we're there.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

[he hasn't succumbed!

yet.] Man, that is so helpful! I'm totally drowning in all the help you're giving right now. So, like... what is this place? Are we still on Earth?

[timetables.livejournal.com]

Guess I don't need to throw you a life vest then, you've got this.

But yeah I think so. Or at least some place that's really close to Earth. It's kind of hard to explain. It's basically Earth if Earth was a thousand times shittier than we remember, and also occasionally tries to kill you in increasingly bizarre ways.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Great, that's awesome. By which I mean it definitely isn't! I thought the Scratch was supposed to reset things!

[timetables.livejournal.com]

Doesn't have anything to do with the Scratch, bro. Pretty sure this has got nothing to do with Sburb or any of that nonsense.

We've branched off into a whole new clusterfuck of nonsense. Forget all the horseshit rules you used to know, because now you've gotta learn a whole new set.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Holy shit you have got to be kidding me. A totally different game? Man, we were just barely getting through the last one!

[timetables.livejournal.com]

Just getting to the good part, then bam shanghai'd into a whole new gaming abstraction entirely. No one even gets how this one works. We don't have any trolls fucking around with us telling us what to do either.

Oh wait no we still have that, what game would be complete without that.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't know how we'd get by without the trolls telling us how to breathe, and then yelling at us that we're doing it wrong. So what's the point of this game?

[timetables.livejournal.com]

It'd be some kind of ridiculously sad life, that's for sure. But I'm not sure it has a point. I guess the goal is to figure out just what the fuck is going on and not die too much in the process.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Okay, well... At least we're all okay, right? Have you seen anyone else?

[timetables.livejournal.com]

Jade and Rose are here too. Hell my Bro, your Dad, and Rose's mom too. Throw in most of the trolls and then some extra ones on top of that, and you've got yourself basically everyone who's anyone. Apparently this is the place to be.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

My dad's here? [That's all John heard.] Do you know where he is?

[timetables.livejournal.com]

Sorry I didn't stop to get his address. I think he's living with Rose and her mom though.





Didn't stop to get their addresses either though, nope.

[321-lifdoff.livejournal.com]

Argh! Well, I'm gonna go find them, okay? I wanna make sure he's alright!

[timetables.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Just don't get lost and like...

Turn up again in a few days with your memory again. That'd suck. Getting kinda overdone.